Agreeing to Disagree with Other Moms

We are Both Right While this is more of a “Follow Friday” post, the topic that these moms talk about has been weighing heavily on my mind a lot lately.

I am blessed to have a core group of mom friends. Some from church, many from my local MOPs group, and even many from the internet. I am truly blessed, and I am so thankful for each of the ladies that I know and have come to call my friends.

But have you ever had a friend that was the complete opposite of you? I am dealing with this right now. I have a friend that has one child… probably a little older than Parker. And when we’re together, she feels the need to point out that everything I do is wrong when it comes to parenting. Sure, she was impressed that I nursed Parker for 19 months… but it could have been longer. (Not if I wanted to stay married, it couldn’t!) I didn’t have him at home? Tsk, tsk. Do you know how many germs are in a hospital? Or right now, I need to have an ultrasound at every doctors visit because my pregnancy is so high risk. Do you know how dangerous that is to the baby? Every topic that comes up, I’m on the wrong end of it… at least according to her. How she can make a mom of (almost) 6 feel like mud, I have no idea.

Nor do I know why I let her.

Parenting choices are just that…. choices. Families have to do what is right for them. Even if I wanted to have a home birth (which I don’t!), I can’t because I need to have a staff of doctors and nurses on hand because of my high risk. I want an epidural? So what?! I’ve done the natural childbirth thing, and I enjoy birth much more after I’ve had a 12 inch needle stuck in my back. Why should that matter, really? I’m considering supplementing with formula for baby Gage? So? I’ve raised bottle fed babies, exclusively breastfed babies, and babies that were breastfed and formula fed. Guess what? I’m really not seeing a difference. My formula babies were just as healthy as my breastfed babies.

No matter what the topic, there are two opinions – at least!

That’s why I love the site that my friends, Amanda and Suzanne, recently introduced: We are Both Right. I met these girls through a featured blogger program that we all a part of, and they are simply awesome. In real life, they are very good friends. On some parenting topics, they completely agree. But on many others, they stand on opposite sides of the fence. Their take on it? So what?! Wait, here, read this… it’s the last two sentences on their “About Me” page…

But no matter where anyone stands, our goals are the same.  We will do anything it takes to have happy and healthy children — because really, don’t all parents want the very same thing?

Isn’t that a great way to put it?

So, the next time someone comes to you and tells you that your parenting choices are all wrong, just remember: that’s only their opinion. If your goal is to rear your children to be healthy, happy, and loved, that’s all that really matters. Then, check out We are Both Right and get a giggle on lots of parenting topics.

Do you have a “friend” that constantly berates the choices you make as a parent? How do you handle it? Let’s talk!

Angie Vinez (2872 Posts)

Angie is a wife and mother to 8. Her life revolves around cooking, cleaning, laundry, and other household duties. She is passionate about her life in Christ and wants to encourage other mothers in their own walk of faith. Angie is active on many social media networks, loves technology, photography, and graphic design, and loves creating blog designs for other mom bloggers.



Comments

  1. 1
    Anonymous says:

    In the words of a very smart lady (my Mom), "Wouldn't the world be a boring place if we were all the same?" Nice post, Angie! You're a great Mom- Don't ever let anyone make you feel differently! 🙂 ~Carol

  2. 2

    We couldn't have said it better — and we're totally flattered that you get us! Just wish more parents could take a step back and realize that they're only responsible for their own children, and different doesn't equal wrong. You shouldn't feel cornered by your situation — just go out there and keep being you. Your children are living proof of your success as a mom.

  3. 3

    I think that for a lot of us, it's just easier to think that there is one right way. Attachment parenting spells things out in rules- and I think a lot of people like to cling to the idea of a few simple rules. It makes life less complicated. For some (maybe even for everyone at some point in life), it gets kind of overwhelming to think of no right answer. (What the heck do I do, then?)
    If they see that it's working out for someone who is following some different rules, then it may be a challenge for them. I don't know. I try to understand, you know. I read all the attachment parenting stuff before I was a mom, and that would have been me following all the rules if something didn't go haywire sometime in my pregnancy. My child is still ok. In fact, she was playing with one of those sliding-bead things in a doctor's waiting room yesterday, and since the colors weren't in a pattern, she made up "invisible" beads so that there would be a pattern. I have a smart one after all. You'd never guess I breastfed for a whopping three days.

  4. 4

    I sure felt the pressure as a first-time mom to do everything "right" with Emma – now I just want to focus on the things that make us happy and healthy and not worry about what every other person thinks is "The right way". SO many issues. Vaccinations, schedules, bedtimes, breastfeeding, disciplining… we can't escape opinions! I know how you feel, I sometimes feel like the opinions are going to do me in – mainly because I don't always know how to respond and I want to be NICE, ya know?

    Don't think about it… we'll both try to grow a tougher skin and maybe it won't make us want to hide from certain people. lol

  5. 5
    Busy Working Mama says:

    Luckily, I try to surround myself with understanding parents. We have different opinions, but we agree to disagree. However, my own parents are starting to drive me absolutely bonkers with their comments about how awful that I don't feel my child 100% organic food. It's driving me nuts. We just had a moment of uncomfortable silence on the phone last week when I was talking about the food I bought at Costco and my mom's like "oh, but Costco doesn't sell organic chicken, and young girls are starting their periods as early as 7 because of all the hormones." We eat chicken, oh, maybe once a month. I think she'll be fine. Sheesh!

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