I started doing the church bulletin a few weeks ago. The first week, I was told that the Prayer List was wrong. I fixed that, and the second week, I didn’t get any complaints. I thought it was going to be smooth sailing!
Boy, was I ever wrong.
This week, I was stuck at home because Jace, Lucy, Parker, and Ashley were all running fevers. I sent the bulletins to church with Gene. When he got home, he told me that I had gotten an anniversary wrong, and I’d forgotten to put someone’s name on the birthday list. Not 10 minutes later, my phone rang. A little old lady from our church called to ask me why I had forgotten to put her niece and nephew’s anniversary in the bulletin. I explained that I had used a list from the person who did the bulletin prior to me, and their anniversary wasn’t on the list. I apologized up and down, and then she asked me why I didn’t bother to check the church directory to make sure I hadn’t missed anyone.
What I wanted to say to her was, “Look, lady. I was up until 2 am working on these bulletins. I am dealing with 4 sick kids right now. I didn’t even start feeling human again myself until Thursday of this week. If you can’t forgive me for missing an anniversary, why don’t you do the bulletins? Maybe then they will be up to your standard.”
What I did say was, “I’m really sorry. I went by the list and never even thought about checking the church directory. I’ll be sure to add them in next week.”
I’m thinking of adding a note in the bulletin that says something like, “Bulletins are composed by a mom of 5. If she happens to miss something, please blame it on momnesia, and be forgiving. Do not call her just to tell her that she got it wrong.”
I don’t like hearing when someone isn’t happy with me. I have this horrible need to please everyone. I think it goes with the Super Mom complex.
Instead of letting this little old bitty get to me, to cheer myself up and forget about it, I decided to do a search on church bulletin bloopers. Here are some that I found that made me giggle:
- Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
- Miss Charlene Mason sang “I will not pass this way again”, giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
- Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
- A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
- The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday “I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours.”
- The service will close with Little Drop of Water. One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
Aren’t those great?! Maybe I’ll start a new section of the bulletin called “Church Bulletin Bloopers that Angie Didn’t Make” and start including some of those.