Junior High for me was horrible. I was a total nerd, and I heard that all day long. I was tall, lanky, wore glasses, had short, permed hair, and just looked like a total dork. I was constantly made fun of. I even had a boy spit in my face because of a “dare.” Sure, I had a few friends, but I spent most nights in my room in tears because I was hurting so much.
It lasted until my Junior year when I dove head first into anorexia, lost 40 pounds, and then finally got my first boyfriend. He happened to be one of the most popular boys in school. Suddenly, I was no longer the “geek.” I’m embarrassed to admit it now, but I ended up hurting many of the friends that stuck by me through my dorky years. I will always hate that I did that.
|Me in 7th grade|
Now, it’s my daughter’s turn to suffer through the horrible effects of Junior High and being picked on.
There’s one difference between Ashley and I, though. Ashley is gorgeous. She’s already developing in all the right places. (I was married and had 2 kids before I developed!) She has gorgeous blond hair, captivating blue eyes, and a smile that can light up a room. (Notice the difference in the pictures of the 2 of us?)
Recently, Ashley had to get glasses. They’re just for reading, and she doesn’t have to wear them all the time. I *love* the way she looks in her glasses. She picked a trendy brown pair that makes her look so sophisticated. I wish she’d wear them all the time.
|Ashley in 7th grade|
But, I found out that she doesn’t like to wear her glasses at school, because as soon as she puts them on, she gets made fun of. She gets called a nerd, of course. Kids today still have no tact or imagination, and continue to say the same old things. But, if she tries to defend herself, the kids will say something like, “Oh, look! An an angry nerd!”
Ashley has never been made fun of in all her years of public school, and now she comes home crying every night because someone has said something hurtful to her.
How do I handle this? I don’t want Ashley going through what I did as a kid. How do I make her understand that what those kids say doesn’t matter, and that the real friends that she has now may end up being the friends she keeps for life.
Of course, I’d like nothing more than to flick those kids in the head and tell them they’re idiots, but I’m quite sure that won’t solve anything.
Do your children get bullied at school? Have you been able to help your children through it?
I know it’s a part of life, and Ashley will have to learn that not everyone is going to like her. People can be mean – even in adulthood. But that still doesn’t mean I want to see my baby girl hurting every night because of something someone said.
Any tips or ideas that you have to share on this topic would be greatly appreciated!