I Hate June 1st

It’s June 1st again. The day I hate more than any other day of the year.

13 years ago, I watched my Daddy die on June 1st. For one year and almost 2 months, I had watched the strongest man on earth get eaten away by the horrible monster, Cancer.

He had mesothelioma. To this day, I cannot watch a commercial about someone suffering from mesothelioma without getting angry. They have made such huge medical advances with that cancer and now people are living longer and longer while battling it. When Daddy was diagnosed, there were only a handful of people in the US that had been diagnosed with it. It’s horribly selfish of me to feel that way, but I do. Why couldn’t he have beat that cancer? Why did he have to be taken from us? It’s not right of me to question God’s plan. And I know that if my Daddy hadn’t passed away, I probably never would have met my amazing husband, so I do have much to be thankful for. It’s the selfish, human side of me that wants my Daddy back.

Good things have happened on June 1st – Ashley and I were both baptized on June 1st. My grandparents and my aunt and uncle both celebrate their anniversaries on June 1st. But June 1st will forever remain the day that I hate most. It’s the day my Daddy was taken from me.

I’m going to spend today talking to my kids about my Daddy and what a wonderful man he was. We’ll flip through old photo albums and laugh at my frizzy hair and pink glasses. I’ll tell them stories of all the crazy things my Daddy used to do to embarrass me. There will be laughter, and there will be tears, I’m sure. I can’t talk about Daddy without tearing up, and it’s been 13 years.

I miss him as much today as I did 13 years ago when I lost him. My heart still aches, and I still want to be able to share everything with him. I miss talking to him about my day, and I miss the sound of his laugh. I hate that my kids will never get to know what an amazing man he was.

I want to take a few minutes and share some pictures of my Daddy with you. Thanks for letting me take a little time to remember and reflect today.

family pic

Me, my parents, and my brother when I was in 6th grade.

graduation

My parents & I on Graduation Day - 1996

generations

My Dad & Ashley in 1998 - just a few months before he died.

I miss you so much, Daddy. I’d give anything for just one more day with you.

To read more about the day we said goodbye to my Daddy, click here: I Love You, Daddy

Angie Vinez (2872 Posts)

Angie is a wife and mother to 8. Her life revolves around cooking, cleaning, laundry, and other household duties. She is passionate about her life in Christ and wants to encourage other mothers in their own walk of faith. Angie is active on many social media networks, loves technology, photography, and graphic design, and loves creating blog designs for other mom bloggers.



Comments

  1. 1
    Christy says:

    I remember your incredible father. I love your family! I remember when he and your mom were Cindy and I’s SS teachers. We loved going in Sunday mornings to see him. He always made us laugh. He was always so cheery even in his wheel chair. We had so much fun when our family hung out with yours! So glad to take the time to remember him today!

  2. 2
    Lanamae Byler says:

    I’m so sorry! Today I will say a special prayer for you and your family!

  3. 3

    I remember your Daddy so vividly. I cannot believe it has been 13 years. I remember that singing voice of his and watching his love for his Savior just radiate from him as he sang. The good news is that he was only taken from you for now…..and for him, it will feel like just seconds that you were apart! I believe that! He’s waiting for you! Praying right now for a great day walking down memory lane…..

  4. 4

    I just found your blog and love it!

    I’m so sorry for your loss. 13 years is a long time not to have your sweet dad here.

    I lost my dad almost 4 years ago. I too am selfish at times because I’d love to have him here, but it’s ok to feel that way.

    What a beautiful tribute to your dad. Hugs!
    Jen recently posted..Memorial Day 2011

  5. 5

    Those are such wonderful photos – I’m glad you loved him so much! And don’t feel bad about being angry, it’s part of being human. Just remember that God knows exactly how you feel and is sad with you… and wants to comfort you. I’ll be praying for you today!

    “You number my wanderings;
    Put my tears into Your bottle;
    Are they not in Your book?” – Psalm 56:8
    Lindsey@Kindred Spirit Mommy recently posted..My Mischievous Little Faery Girl…

  6. 6
    Melissa Beaver says:

    Your Daddy was a great man, I remember him singing in church and in the car when he carpooled us to IBA about a bald man. I think of Bill whenever Mike Gardner sings now. Mike mentions him occasionally before he sings a song. I’m sorry for your loss. I know he is proud of you today, and you can rest easy knowing you’ll be reunited with him one day.
    Love you Ang,
    Missy

  7. 7
    BeckyTracy says:

    You will see him again! My Dad died suddenly 3 years ago come June. Enjoy Your memories . He would be so proud of the wonderful wife ,Mother, daughter and special friend your are!
    Love you,
    Becky

  8. 8
    Tamara B. says:

    Such a horrible loss to you and your family and I am so sorry 🙁

  9. 9

    What lovely pictures! Your Dad seemed like a dear loving soul. One day you’ll all meet again in heaven. Think of now as temporarily being apart.

  10. 10

    Big huge (((HUGS))) today, Angie. I love you!!!
    Heather L. recently posted..Missing Olivia

  11. 11

    Your dad looks the same on the day you graduated as he did when you were in 6th grade. 🙂

    This was a really great post.

  12. 12

    My prayers are with you, sweetheart! It is wonderful to see the relationship you had with your daddy–that’s something I’m still working to build with mine. Hugest hugs to you.

  13. 13

    I know it’s a few days after the fact, but I want to let you know that my heart goes out to you. I lost my father to cancer five years ago in March and I feel the same way around that time. It hurts, even after the years have gone by. Seems like your father was a good man.

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