It’s June 1st again. The day I hate more than any other day of the year.
13 years ago, I watched my Daddy die on June 1st. For one year and almost 2 months, I had watched the strongest man on earth get eaten away by the horrible monster, Cancer.
He had mesothelioma. To this day, I cannot watch a commercial about someone suffering from mesothelioma without getting angry. They have made such huge medical advances with that cancer and now people are living longer and longer while battling it. When Daddy was diagnosed, there were only a handful of people in the US that had been diagnosed with it. It’s horribly selfish of me to feel that way, but I do. Why couldn’t he have beat that cancer? Why did he have to be taken from us? It’s not right of me to question God’s plan. And I know that if my Daddy hadn’t passed away, I probably never would have met my amazing husband, so I do have much to be thankful for. It’s the selfish, human side of me that wants my Daddy back.
Good things have happened on June 1st – Ashley and I were both baptized on June 1st. My grandparents and my aunt and uncle both celebrate their anniversaries on June 1st. But June 1st will forever remain the day that I hate most. It’s the day my Daddy was taken from me.
I’m going to spend today talking to my kids about my Daddy and what a wonderful man he was. We’ll flip through old photo albums and laugh at my frizzy hair and pink glasses. I’ll tell them stories of all the crazy things my Daddy used to do to embarrass me. There will be laughter, and there will be tears, I’m sure. I can’t talk about Daddy without tearing up, and it’s been 13 years.
I miss him as much today as I did 13 years ago when I lost him. My heart still aches, and I still want to be able to share everything with him. I miss talking to him about my day, and I miss the sound of his laugh. I hate that my kids will never get to know what an amazing man he was.
I want to take a few minutes and share some pictures of my Daddy with you. Thanks for letting me take a little time to remember and reflect today.
I miss you so much, Daddy. I’d give anything for just one more day with you.
To read more about the day we said goodbye to my Daddy, click here: I Love You, Daddy