And I *must* get that through my head.
I called my mom last night when my fever topped 103*. I told her all my symptoms. She was sure that it was pneumonia, and I *had* to go in to the ER. I called Gene, (who had gone to church with the kids), and told him that the fever was getting higher and I thought it would be best to go in and get it checked out.
Before he left, he mentioned to our Associate Pastor what was going on, and before Brother Tim started preaching, he called the entire church to the front of the auditorium to pray for me.
I am absolutely, 100% convinced that it was those prayers that kept this from being pneumonia. When I got back into the room at the ER, the ER doc was convinced it was pneumonia. My lungs sounded awful, my cough was terrible, and the fever was way too high to be normal. He did a chest x-ray, and it came back ok. He said that it was “on the verge” and if I didn’t get this under control, it would easily turn into pneumonia. Right now it’s just bronchitis. He also did a flu test, just to be on the safe side, (since I was achy and had the high fever), and it came back positive almost immediately. Just what every mom needs. They sent me home with cough medicine, a steroid shot, (to open my airways back up), an antibiotic, some flu medicine, and strict orders for rest and fluids. If I don’t get this under control, it will quickly turn into pneumonia, and then I’ll be stuck in a hospital for days.
One thing that this illness has taught me is that I am not Super Mom. Being a mom to 5, I think people expect more from me. Therefore, I always take things on, never say no, and do way too much. With this sickness kicking my butt, I’m quickly realizing that I need to slow down and take it easy.
So, I’ll never be on Oprah. I’ll never be one of the “it” bloggers. And, I may never make it to BlogHer. But, that’s ok. It has to be. By running myself into the ground, I’m not doing myself, my family, or anyone else any good.
I’m resolving here and now to make some changes. I’ll still blog. It’s such an outlet for me, and because I get little to no adult interaction during the day, I need it. I will still do reviews and giveaways because those are fun, and I love sharing new products with my readers. I will, however, start to say no more often. I will no longer live on a set schedule and beat myself up because I can’t keep that schedule. I will understand that things happen. People understand, and if they don’t – well, they’re just not worth the effort.
So, I’m turning in my Super Mom cape and tiara. As much as I want to be able to “do it all” and do it all well, it’s more important for me to be the best wife, mother, friend, and business owner that I can be, and take things on as I can. If I can’t take something on, I will not let the guilt eat away at me.
With that being said, I’m heading back to the couch. The kids are with my MIL today, (except for non-bottle taking Parker), and I plan to get as much rest as I can while they’re not here.