I’ve Angered My Tween

Ashley BeforeAny mom of a tween knows just how difficult life can be. After all, they’re going through puberty, exerting their independence, and some most days, they are just plain crabby.

For months, we have told Ashley that if she can’t keep her hair clean, we’re going to chop it off. There have been nights when I have sent her back into the shower 3 times to wash her hair correctly. I have shown her how to wash it. I have even washed it myself. She is afraid of getting water in her eyes, so she won’t stick her head under the shower. She’s 12 years old. It’s time to learn that if you actually put your head under the water, it will get clean.

Well, she can’t keep it clean, and my husband had had enough. Because she couldn’t keep it clean, she would pull it back into a ponytail. The other day, I could have sworn that hubby was going to cut her ponytail off with a pair of scissors. Luckily, I was able to resolve the issue by setting up a hair appointment to get her hair cut off.

We went through magazines together, and picked out our top 3 favorites. Because she can’t keep it clean, I told her that we were going to go short. Really short.

We got to Mike’s today, and I handed him the picture we had selected. Then, he got to work. Ashley AfterShe lost a ton of hair, and it looks fabulous. She absolutely hates it, though. I mean she hates it with a passion. She cried the whole way home, saying that she looked like a boy, and how mean I was, and blah, blah, blah. I reminded her that she was lucky that Daddy didn’t give her a haircut, and that if she had just kept her hair clean, we would have kept it longer. You can’t rationalize with a tween, though, so she’s barely talked to me all afternoon.

After we got home, we played with her hair a bit. I showed her several different styles that she could wear, and how easy her hair would be to take care of now. After she put a headband in her hair, she really liked the way it looked, so she seemed a little happier. Looks like I’m going to have to stock up on headbands for awhile. (I think it also helped that I posted it on Facebook, and she’s been reading all the kind comments people are posting!)

Do you all have issues with your tweens and their hair? Am I wrong to think that my 12 year old should know how to care for her hair? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this subject!

Angie Vinez (2893 Posts)

Angie is a wife and mother to 8. Her life revolves around cooking, cleaning, laundry, and other household duties. She is passionate about her life in Christ and wants to encourage other mothers in their own walk of faith. Angie is active on many social media networks, loves technology, photography, and graphic design, and loves creating blog designs for other mom bloggers.


  1. 1
    Melissa Wardy says:

    I have a 3yr old, so I can't weigh in on the tween thing (yet, thank goodness) but I just wanted to say she looks quite pretty with short hair! Her whole face is lit up and the cut really accentuates her blue eyes. I'm a big fan of short hair (http://www.pigtailpals.com/info.html), and this cut will probably set her apart! Hopefully, that's a good thing. Again, not doing the tween-parenting thing yet…
    Tell Ashley I give the new do 2 thumbs up!! And I think headbands and scarves in her hair would be adorable!
    Ashley — you look smart and confident with that new cut! Very cute sweetie!

  2. 2
    Lil' Bit Sassy says:

    I hate to admit it, but I was the same way at her age. I had hair down to my waist. My Mom resolved the problem the same way you did. I learned to wash my hair on a regular basis lol.

  3. 3

    LOL!!! We did the exact same thing to our daughter who turned 13 in spring. I was so tired of the icky hair, and took her to get it chopped off. Now that she has had it shorter for a while she is taking better care of it, and wants to prove that she can grow it out..we'll..see.

    Ashley's new do looks very cute!

  4. 4
    Susan M. Heim says:

    I LOVE her new hairstyle! She has such a pretty face, and it really shows it off. I hope she gets used to it because it looks fabulous!

  5. 5

    I LOVE Ashley's shorter hair! I'm going to show my oldest daughter Lisa as I think it would look very cute on her too. Lisa has long hair too and 90% of the time it's up in a ponytail. Lisa has the same problem with her hair, well, she does wash it but we have an additional problem as Lisa is on a swim team it has an effect on her hair, it's very dry, so shorter hair would also be better for her. My problem is convincing her dad that short hair is a good thing. He doesn't want her to get it cut short! So how do you convince your husband?

  6. 6

    I took my 11-yr old daughter for the same haircut back in June as soon as school was out. And my stylist "stacked" it in back with really short layers. I'll let her grow it out over the school year, but next summer she's getting the same cut!! Shorter hair is a LOT easier to deal with in the hot weather. GAIL

  7. 7

    It's cute. C got a buzz cut (which has taken some getting used to) but it's really easy to keep clean. I think I'm lucky though. Both kids like to get their hair soaked in the shower/bath tub.

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