Parenting Discussion: Bullying in Schools

Last year, I posted about my daughter getting bullied at school – just for wearing glasses. Around that same time, a boy in my son Jace’s kindergarten class started bullying him. Kindergarten. It was horrible, though. Jace would come home every day from school crying, swearing he would never go back. He would cry every morning as I put him on the bus.

stop bullyingNothing was ever done to stop this boy, either. The school said that they “tried” but because the boy’s mother didn’t see the problem, they couldn’t get her to punish him. {I still can’t understand why he wasn’t expelled.}

Now, I have a whole new set of problems – one with each of my boys in school, and I am just torn.

Jace became friends with the “bully” this year. And for awhile, he decided to start bullying others. No one ever let me know until our parent teacher conference. I spent that entire conference in tears listening to the teacher telling me how badly Jace had treated other kids. I was so hurt that he was doing that, but I was also angry that the school never approached me before the conference. They should have contacted me the first time it happened so that I could nip it in the bud. We have since dealt with the problem, and Jace swears that he’s not bullying any more. Of course, I have no idea what’s really true, since the school seems to not want to contact the parents when there’s a problem.

Then there’s my other son, Zander. Zander is in 3rd grade. Cute as cute can be, but exactly like I was as a kid: nose always in a book. That, and Zander is in all the gifted classes at school. Anyone that has a gifted child knows that their minds work a different way. Zander is incredibly sensitive and takes everything to heart. He absolutely will not stand up for himself. There are times when he’ll even allow his 3 year old brother to take advantage of him. It breaks my heart, but I don’t know how to fix it. Well, there’s now a boy at school that picks on Zander every day at recess. I’ve told Zander to tell the teachers, but he insists that they don’t do anything. Without being there, I really don’t know how much is true, but I do know that I am SO tired of having Zander come home from school every day crying.

I was supposed to meet with the principal this week, but because we’ve been dealing with the stomach flu, I’ve had to postpone my meeting with her. I’m hoping to get in next week before the kids go on winter break.

The school seems so lackadaisical on bullying, and I think that’s a serious problem. No child should hate going to school because of ONE other child. And if my child were the bully, {as mentioned above}, I would want to know immediately so that I could stop it. Maybe I’m not like most parents, though. Maybe most parents just think kids are kids and it’s a part of growing up. I don’t know. I can’t answer for any other parents. I can only answer for myself and how I feel about the situation.

Have you had trouble with your child bullying – or being bullied? What steps have to taken to prevent bullying? Any advice you can give me and other moms dealing with bullying?

Angie Vinez (2893 Posts)

Angie is a wife and mother to 8. Her life revolves around cooking, cleaning, laundry, and other household duties. She is passionate about her life in Christ and wants to encourage other mothers in their own walk of faith. Angie is active on many social media networks, loves technology, photography, and graphic design, and loves creating blog designs for other mom bloggers.


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    I’m so sorry Angie on both accounts. I think you and other parents should get together and make the school take bullying more seriously and actually do something about it. I have a brother who was bullied in first grade. He was pushed into a fence everyday and eventually the whole class did something to him. From that time forward he started gaining a lot of weight at the beginning of every school year because of all the anxiety he had. Today even as an adult it still affects him. There is no room for bullying at should be stopped asap. Like you, it may be that the parents just are not aware of what is going on and that should change.

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    Your Zander sounds exactly like my Cody (who is also in the 3rd grade). He’s highly intelligent, and very sensitive. A huge heart. So far, we haven’t had any issues with bullying, but I worry all the time about it. I even plan on homeschooling through the middle school years (I hear horror stories about middle school). So I totally relate.
    Donna recently posted..Women in Business: Breaking the Glass Ceiling

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    I was at another elementary school for our grandson’s basketball game. On the wall, under a bulletin board was a clear plastic holder that had paper forms that any child could use to tell a teacher or the principal what they saw or what was done to them. The form also left a copy with the child writing up the paper. If you want me to, I can send you a photo of it so you can present it to the teacher or better yet, the principal.

    See the teacher, but immediately make an appointment to talk with the principal. If there is no help, go to the superintendent of school’s office. It’s effort, but it will pay off. You need to make a clear statement to each level and have it put on record as to what is going on.
    Donna Perugini recently posted..It’s a Giveaway for My Children’s Books

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    I’m just floored that with all of the problems with bullying in schools today, your school cannot bother to deal with it. I absolutely agree with the previous commentators who’d suggested that you speak to the teacher, then the principal, and then escalate to the school board if necessary. What happened to “no bullying” policies?
    Enyo @MotherhoodLooms recently posted..The Lazy Blogger Award – Is there One?

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    Alejandro Castellanos says:

    As a teacher I can find, even from the classroom when bullying is there. Normal kids will laugh at others and even joke about it, the problem starts when they only focus on one other.
    The bullies are basically fearing it could turn on them, so they go the opposite, some others are only imitating what they get or see at home.
    Teaching kids how to protect themselves, telling both families and having them gather and talk things over with a school adviser and teacher present, could help solve further criminal attitudes.
    Many schools do not have a program or some personnel to deal with this and might even be careless about it. Being conscious about this will compromise both, teachers and parents in a crusade to do something real and change things.
    Both my kids suffered from bullying but I was a teacher in their school and started to change things using many talks and taking actions with the families involved, they also started taking karate practice which was not easy for “nose-on-books” boys. We took experts and priests from the Catholic Church and the Evangelic churches around. They spoke with the children and parents. This particular private school gave a set of very clear and specific rules for sudents, parents and teachers as a tool to help both sides of the problem. At the end it was fixed.
    I no longer work at that school but I guess all this structure created in those years is still working. It wasn’t easy because many of the bully’s parents justified their kid’s attitudes and we had to deal with quite some, anyway the children learned and being now in college, they still get along well.
    I hope this helps

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    Important and relevant! I just stumbled it!
    Scarlet recently posted..Gardening and Cooking with Your Little Ones

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