Pregnancy Fears – What is Wrong with Me?

GASP!Usually, you hear the phrase “pregnancy fears” and you think of the usual things – how bad will labor be, will these stretch marks ever go away, will my body ever look normal again… You get the idea.

But this time around, my pregnancy fears are SO different. Instead of fearing childbirth, life with a newborn, and all the “normal” stuff, I have this petrifying fear that my husband is going to leave me.

Now, anyone who knows my husband knows how silly that sounds. My husband is the most dedicated family man that I’ve ever seen – since my own Daddy was around, of course. Gene adores his kids, and he’s never once done anything to cause me to doubt his love for me.

So why do I have this fear that he’s going to find someone younger, prettier, and not all stretched out by giving birth to 6 kids?

It’s because of my dreams. Since I found out I was pregnant, which was an absolute shock to begin with, I have had the most horrible dreams. They always involve one of two things: Me going back to junior high, or my husband cheating on me.

Now, thank God, I know that I will never have to endure junior high again. And I’m guessing those dreams are coming because we have a daughter in junior high that’s about to drive us batty.

But why the adulterous dreams? What would possess my mind to even go there? I’m not saying it couldn’t happen. People do stupid things. But, it’s just not something I see my husband doing. Again, he’s never given me a reason not to trust him.

My husband works very long hours, and up until a few weeks ago, he was also driving 2 hours one way to and from work. He’s in a grocery store, surrounded by pretty girls all day long. (Ok, that’s probably stretching the truth a bit – but some of those cashiers are pretty dang cute.) That, and everyone loves Gene. He’s easy to get along with. People can’t believe he’s with me, because he’s so likable – and I’m, well, stuck up. 🙂 (Can you believe people think that about me?)

You put all of those things together, and I guess I can see where the dreams are coming from. But why am I so afraid that it’s actually going to happen? I’ve spent many nights in tears, just fearing the worst. I’ve broken down in front of Gene and told him what was wrong. He’s assured me time and time…. and time again that it’s not going to happen. So, why can’t I just take his word?

Is this just a pregnancy fear, and it will magically melt away once Gage is born? Have you ever dealt with a fear like this – one that just makes no sense at all? I’d love to hear your stories and/or any advice you might have.

And, if you convince me I’m not completely crazy, that would be nice too.

Angie Vinez (2872 Posts)

Angie is a wife and mother to 8. Her life revolves around cooking, cleaning, laundry, and other household duties. She is passionate about her life in Christ and wants to encourage other mothers in their own walk of faith. Angie is active on many social media networks, loves technology, photography, and graphic design, and loves creating blog designs for other mom bloggers.



Comments

  1. 1

    There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you. And you are NOT crazy. Crazy dreams, raging hormones, fears . . . SO totally normal. And every pregnancy is different. So it’s totally NORMAL that you’re having these feelings.

    And after five kids and another on the way, your husband LOVES you! You are so so so blessed!!!! 🙂

    -DP
    Hip Chick’s Guide to PMS, Pregnancy, and Babies

  2. 2

    Wish I could help more, but all I can say is, at almost 4 months along with my second, I feel very insecure myself. I partly wonder if it’s just a natural stage of our relationship- married 5 years now- or if it’s just pregnancy. It’s weird because I was incredibly confident and serene with my first…

  3. 3
    Lanamae Byler says:

    You are not crazy or stuck up! You are, however, silly for thinking that! Although I never dreamed or thought about my husband leaving me during my second pregnancy, I did have an uncontrollable feeling that he didn’t love the baby and that he was not happy or excited about it. Most of my pregnancy he didn’t have much to say about it…..ever! Not even “is he kicking?” He only felt the baby kick twice and that was because I took his hand and made him feel. When I was 37 weeks ( like a week and half before Toby was born) he did start to talk about it a little and started to help me out around the house. After Toby was born, my husband did a complete turn around! So here is what I have to say about all that……..it’s just all in our heads! Don’t stress out about it! He must love you a ton….because you keep having babies! Smile!

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