Have a Bad Mother’s Day? Read This.

Something has rubbed me the wrong way today, and I just can’t keep quiet about it any longer.

My facebook newsfeed today has been full of moms complaining about their Mother’s Day. I’ve read quotes like the following:

  • My husband didn’t bother to get me the $600 bracelet I wanted.
  • All I wanted was a day to myself. So much for that.
  • What a crappy Mothers Day. I’m so tired of this. I just want to be done.
  • All I got for Mother’s Day were stupid handmade gifts from the kids. (This was a direct quote. Someone really said these exact words.) ūüôĀ
  • Can you believe I still had to do laundry and dishes on Mothers Day?

Or my absolute favorite…

  • My kids wouldn’t leave me alone all day!

My heart hurts. When did motherhood become such a bad thing? And why, the one day of the year when we celebrate Moms, do we expect to get a day off from motherhood?

I’m going to remind you all of something you already know: Children are a gift from God.

Psalm 127: 3 – 5
Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed.

I’m not just talking about having a large number of children. Whether you have one child or twenty, you have been blessed by God. Our children should be treated as treasures and not as trials.

Mothers Day 2013

I cannot help but think of the fact that we are God’s children. I am certain that not a day goes by where we don’t¬†disappoint¬†Him. Aren’t you thankful that instead of lashing out at us, or being annoyed by us, He loves us anyway? He never takes “time off” from us, either. He is always there, listening, holding out His hand, wanting to be a part of our lives. He spends every moment wanting more from us, and the closer we are to Him, the better all of our other relationships will be. If we spend more time nurturing our relationship with Christ, we will be kind, gentle, loving, and slow to anger with our husbands and our children. Really.

Am I saying that as a mom I never get tired and want to give up? Absolutely not. But my kids don’t know when I’m feeling that way, and I can promise that my Facebook friends don’t know it either.

When I get overwhelmed, I turn to Jesus and change my attitude. I turn on the gospel music station and sing songs of praise, or I take a deep breath and whisper a prayer to pull me through. There are some days when I whisper LOTS of prayers. And at the close of every day, I can still say that I am truly thankful for all that God has given me.

Your children won’t be little forever. Your sink won’t always be overflowing with dishes. You won’t always feel as stressed out as you do right now.

One day, your children will grow up and move out. You’ll be left alone with nothing but your thoughts. If you took the time to love and cherish your children, one day they will love, honor, and respect you. If you spend your time every day letting them know how much they annoy you or what a bother they are, I’d be willing to bet they won’t come around to bother you once they have the choice. You’ll be stuck at home, all alone, just wishing for something as little as a phone call.

If you didn’t get the Mother’s Day present that you wanted, or you didn’t get to sleep in because the baby needed to eat, find a reason to rejoice and praise Him anyway. Be thankful that your child wants to be with you. Be grateful that your child isn’t lying in a hospital bed fighting for life. Be glad that your child loved you enough to make you 15 cards for Mothers Day.

Let your children know how much you love them. Let them know that you value them and WANT to spend time with them. Then, get out there and actually do it! Have picnics, make mudpies, and hug them until they pull away. You’ll both be happier.

Edited to add: Ask a mom that has been trying to conceive about her Mother’s Day. Or ask the mom that has lost a child. Ask them how much your comments about “quitting motherhood” make them feel. I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t like their answer, because I’m pretty sure that they would give just about anything to experience those moments that we often take for granted. Stop thinking only about yourself and what you don’t have, or you’ll miss the whole world around you and all the blessings you already have.

What Pinterest is Doing to Motherhood

pinterest vs motherhood

As a mom, we want everything to be perfect. We want the perfect children, the perfect house, the perfect husband, the perfect life. And with just a few clicks of a mouse, we can “pin” all our dreams and desires onto a board in the hopes that someday we will turn those pins into reality.

I am blessed to have lots of mom friends, and I am so thankful for those friends. However, my heart is heavy because some of them are feeling guilty because they can’t achieve a pinterest-perfect life.

One mom has 4 children and had to opt for store bought cookies for her kids’ school Christmas parties. When she walked into each room, her guilt intensified at the site of reindeer pretzel cookies, snowman donuts, and other pinterest discovered goodies that covered the tables.

Another mom friend has 2 children and confessed that she was feeling guilty that she had to buy the cheap disposable diapers when all the “good moms” were going the cloth route.

What is going on here? When did snowman donuts, reindeer cookies, and making your own baby food become so much more important than teaching our children the things that really matter? We are teaching our children that it’s important to do things better than everyone else, to always have “the best,” and that stuff is more important than the intangible items. We are no longer helping form our children for God’s Army, but instead we are showing them how much control the world really has over us.

And, believe me, I am SO guilty of this. I can’t point fingers at anyone, because I have 3 fingers pointing right back at me.

In fact, let me just share with you my biggest flub up of 2012… My head hangs in shame as I share this with you…

When I was hanging up Christmas decorations this year, I went all out. Snowflakes hanging from the ceiling, tree trimmed in all it’s glory, icicles on the window, wrapping paper on all the pictures… I honestly about killed myself making Christmas “perfect” in our house.

My husband asked why I decided to go all out this year, and my response was, “I want to have the most pinterest-worthy house around.”

Hand – smack forehead.

I totally screwed up Christmas. Sure, I wanted the kids to love it, but I had so much more in mind. I wanted everyone to want to pin my Christmas decorations, mimic them, and drive tons more traffic to my blog.

It honestly didn’t even hit me until I read a status update on Facebook that said, “As mothers, the measures I believe we should judge ourselves on are actually simple: its not the size or “pinterest-worthiness” of their first birthday cake. It’s the amount of unconditional love and affection we give to our children, the values and confidence we instill in them, the quality of the time we spend with them, the examples we set for them in our actions as their role models…

That one quote cut me to the core. What have I been doing?! Since when does what other people (pinners) think of my home, my family, my blog mean more than what GOD thinks? Am I doing things for HIS glory, or for the glory of man?

I pretty much answered my own question right then and there, and it brought me under a deep conviction.

Am I saying pinterest is evil? No, not really. I’m sure I will still pin things that I like. Thanks to pinterest, I have found some really great recipes that my family enjoys, and I’ve saved money by making our own laundry soap, fabric softener, and other things. There IS good in Pinterest…. in moderation.

However, from now on, my relationship with my¬†Savior¬†comes first, followed by my relationship with my family. No longer will I worry or fret over how “pinterest-worthy” my decorations, my family, my blog, or anything else in my life might be. Instead, I want to know how God-worthy and God-honoring they are. I want my goal to be to please my Savoir, not anyone that might happen by my blog.

If I have to give up time with my husband or my children in order to complete a pinterest project, it will wait until I have “me” time… when the kids are in bed and hubby is working late. If it takes months for me to find that me time, then it will take me months to complete that pinterest project. End of story. No longer will my family compete for my attention because I have a board full of “Must Makes” that I just have to complete.

And if I find that I need to buy disposable diapers, cookies made by the grocery store bakery, or candles that I don’t get to cover in glitter and give as gifts, that’s ok to. I will not beat myself up for wanting to give the time to my family instead of screaming “Look what I did!” for all the pinterest-world to see.

I wrote this post as a reminder of myself of how much I am missing out on by worrying about what everyone else thinks. These are my convictions, and my feelings. I am not writing this to upset or anger anyone, just to maybe make you think a little bit. We are all entitled to our own opinions. If pinterest has helped you, be thankful for that. For me, it became too much and I need to back off and use it in a way that will not harm my family.

What are your thoughts on the pinterest movement? Is it helpful or harmful to motherhood in today’s world?