Parenting Discussion: Bullying in Schools

Last year, I posted about my daughter getting bullied at school – just for wearing glasses. Around that same time, a boy in my son Jace’s kindergarten class started bullying him. Kindergarten. It was horrible, though. Jace would come home every day from school crying, swearing he would never go back. He would cry every morning as I put him on the bus.

stop bullyingNothing was ever done to stop this boy, either. The school said that they “tried” but because the boy’s mother didn’t see the problem, they couldn’t get her to punish him. {I still can’t understand why he wasn’t expelled.}

Now, I have a whole new set of problems – one with each of my boys in school, and I am just torn.

Jace became friends with the “bully” this year. And for awhile, he decided to start bullying others. No one ever let me know until our parent teacher conference. I spent that entire conference in tears listening to the teacher telling me how badly Jace had treated other kids. I was so hurt that he was doing that, but I was also angry that the school never approached me before the conference. They should have contacted me the first time it happened so that I could nip it in the bud. We have since dealt with the problem, and Jace swears that he’s not bullying any more. Of course, I have no idea what’s really true, since the school seems to not want to contact the parents when there’s a problem.

Then there’s my other son, Zander. Zander is in 3rd grade. Cute as cute can be, but exactly like I was as a kid: nose always in a book. That, and Zander is in all the gifted classes at school. Anyone that has a gifted child knows that their minds work a different way. Zander is incredibly sensitive and takes everything to heart. He absolutely will not stand up for himself. There are times when he’ll even allow his 3 year old brother to take advantage of him. It breaks my heart, but I don’t know how to fix it. Well, there’s now a boy at school that picks on Zander every day at recess. I’ve told Zander to tell the teachers, but he insists that they don’t do anything. Without being there, I really don’t know how much is true, but I do know that I am SO tired of having Zander come home from school every day crying.

I was supposed to meet with the principal this week, but because we’ve been dealing with the stomach flu, I’ve had to postpone my meeting with her. I’m hoping to get in next week before the kids go on winter break.

The school seems so lackadaisical on bullying, and I think that’s a serious problem. No child should hate going to school because of ONE other child. And if my child were the bully, {as mentioned above}, I would want to know immediately so that I could stop it. Maybe I’m not like most parents, though. Maybe most parents just think kids are kids and it’s a part of growing up. I don’t know. I can’t answer for any other parents. I can only answer for myself and how I feel about the situation.

Have you had trouble with your child bullying – or being bullied? What steps have to taken to prevent bullying? Any advice you can give me and other moms dealing with bullying?