As can be imagined, most people do not ever imagine themselves having to establish a parent-surrogate relationship. The parent-surrogate relationship is not one that most people would ever think about, unless they find themselves in the middle of one. A parent-surrogate relationship is not something that is taught about at home or at school, and until recently has been rarely covered by the media, pop culture, or even in movies. The parent-surrogate relationship is unique and different to any other relationship, and is something that the vast majority of people are unaware of how to prepare for. If you have found yourself in a situation where you need to establish a parent-surrogate relationship, read on to hear our top tips.
Go To the Transfer
The transfer will be the ultimate bonding moment between parents and the surrogate. You will want to be involved in the pregnancy from the beginning, so every attempt to attend the transfer should definitely be made.
Your surrogate will want you to stay involved, so it’s important to ensure that you stay in contact with her. Remember that she is doing this in order to change your life, so it’s important that you let her know that she’s appreciated and valued.
It’s a good idea to set aside a specific time each week to meet with your surrogate, either in person, over the telephone or over Skype or FaceTime. A regularly designated time will work best, and choose a time that is convenient for everyone. Make sure that this takes a position of priority in your schedule.
Take an Interest
In order to form a good relationship with your surrogate, it’s important to take an interest in her life aside from the pregnancy. Asking about her family and hobbies will show her that you’re interested in her as a person.
Remember that your surrogate has been pregnant before and has undergone a rigorous screening process in order to become a surrogate. For this reason, it’s important not to sweat the small stuff – your surrogate won’t want to have to give a full account of everything she’s eaten every day! Unless you think you have valid reason to be worried, let her get on with her pregnancy.
Be Aware of Legalities
Although most surrogate situations don’t result in legal complications, it’s important that both you and your surrogate are aware of surrogate law and enlist the help of a legal service such as Ideal Legal Group in order to protect all of you.
You should make an effort to attend the big appointments with your surrogate, such as ultrasound appointments. If your surrogate allows, you may also wish to be present at the birth. Be aware that your surrogate has carried and will give birth to this baby, and even though it is biologically yours she will still feel a sense of love and connection to it.
Are you a parent who is using a surrogate mother? We’d love to hear all about it in the comments.