The Trouble with Kids…

is that memories of your own childhood come back to bite you in the butt.

Jace, my adorable, sweet, loving little boy, has recently started acting out. I’m not sure if it’s a lack of attention, if it’s middle child syndrome, or if it’s payback for the horrible child I was. Whatever it is, I need to figure out how to fix it.

Jace is 4. When I was 4, I went to a Christian preschool. I was in trouble every.single.day. I kid you not. We had these black chairs in the hallway that we had to sit in before we got spanked. (Yes, our school allowed spankings.) I spent every day in those black chairs. Sometimes, I was in them several times a day. I was bad. I had no respect for authority and wanted to do whatever I darn well pleased. I once got in trouble for duct-taping a little girl into one of those play kitchen sets while the teacher was out of the room. I can still remember the name of the little girl, too. The memory haunts me to this day. The little girl and I went to school together from preschool through 5th grade, and we were actually friends the entire time. Apparently I was angry at her that day and duct taping her into a kitchen set was the only way I could show her just how angry I was. It’s no wonder that Jace acts the way that he does. Thank GOD I home school.

Here’s the kicker: If I got spanked at school, I got spanked at home. Only, I didn’t care. I have no idea why but no form of punishment ever worked on me.

Now I’m dealing with the exact same thing with Jace. Nothing works on him. Time outs, spankings, sitting in his room, loss of toys… nothing works. I’ve taken every single toy out of the boys’ room as a punishment, and Jace doesn’t care. My gosh. How did my parents ever survive this?!

The good news is that once I started first grade, I decided I wasn’t going to get into trouble any more. At least not at school. At home, I was still a nightmare, but at school, I had all the teachers fooled that I was this sweet kid who could do no wrong. I remember in 1st grade, I actually cried the first time I got my name written on the board. (For talking, of course.) I rarely got in trouble in school, at least until high school when I was kicked out. (That’s another post for another day. Or maybe not.)

When my Daddy was sick with cancer, I actually had people tell me that it was my fault he was sick. And then when he died, they had the nerve to tell me that if I had just been a better kid, God wouldn’t have taken my Daddy from me. Now, I’m not stupid. I know that it’s not true. God had a purpose and a plan to my Daddy’s illness and his death. If he was still living, I never would have met my husband, and I wouldn’t have my 5 wonderful little monkeys. But that is honestly what people told me.

So what do I do with this child? What did my parents do with me? Well, I got spanked. A lot. I was grounded. A lot. Nothing ever really helped. I was just a bad kid. And now this grown-up bad kid is going through the exact same things with HER kids.

I can’t ask my mom for advice. She’d just laugh at me and call it payback. So, I’m coming to all of you. Any advice on what I should try?

And please don’t hold my past against me. LOL! I’m really a nice person…. now. I promise.

Angie Vinez (2872 Posts)

Angie is a wife and mother to 8. Her life revolves around cooking, cleaning, laundry, and other household duties. She is passionate about her life in Christ and wants to encourage other mothers in their own walk of faith. Angie is active on many social media networks, loves technology, photography, and graphic design, and loves creating blog designs for other mom bloggers.



Comments

  1. 1
    Lil' Bit Sassy says:

    Wow–I’m not sure what you can do. Sounds like you’ve tried everything. Hate to say it, but I think it’s the Mother’s Curse striking (“when you grow up I hope your kids act just like you”).

    Hopefully Jace will outgrow this and it’s just a phase. If punishment isn’t working–and I know this would be extremely difficult for you to do–maybe try to have some one on one time with him every day. Even if it’s just for 15 or 20 minutes. Maybe it’s attention he’s seeking since there’s a new baby in the house.

    Of course, if that doesn’t work, you can always lock him in the closet 🙂

  2. 2
    Jewllori by Lori says:

    Ang, I don’t know you well, but let me say I am slightly laughing inside. Not at what you are going through with Jace, but from you, and how you were as a kid, I could never imagine! My son Ross is just like that, NOTHING works to discipline him. I’ve tried everything you listed and nothing works so I am tapped straight out of ideas. I guess just persevere, and hopefully by grade one(eeeeks!) he’ll smarten up. I’m sorry Ang, I wish I had some ideas, but I am in the same boat!! I’ll be praying that you can find somethign that works for him, and If I come up with anything, I will let you know 🙂

  3. 3

    Oh, girl, I wish I had some sage advice for you, but you know I am struggling with Kyle, too. And Alec, as a matter of fact. That kid just WON’T listen, I swear. For example:

    1) He WON’T sit right at the table. He kneels, hangs half off the chair, etc. I have to tell him over and over EVERY DAY to “sit right”. Today he almost fell off the chair.

    2) Plays in his drink. He blows bubbles in it, gargles it, sticks his hands in it. He’s even spit stuff back into it before. Ewww! This goes on ALL the time. Half the time I end up just having to take the drink away.

    3) When he gets sent to the corner, he plays, lays down, turns around, etc. He knows he has to stand facing the wall and can’t talk or cry. He has to be quiet for 5 minutes before he can get out. EVERY time he gets sent to the corner for getting in trouble, he gets in trouble IN THE CORNER. Today I about lost it with him.

    4) He KNOWS he’s not supposed to turn on the water for the shower by himself. In this house we have 3 knobs as opposed to 1 in our old house and he doesn’t know how to regulate the water right. Tonight as he and Joey were getting ready for their shower, Joey had to go downstairs to get his underwear, leaving Alec in the bathroom by himself. Next thing I know, I could hear him trying to run the water, ran in and told him not to touch it. I got the shower going and left the bathroom for a minute. Thought I could hear the squeak of the knob adjusting and sure enough, when I went in to check he had the water blazing hot. AHHHH!!! I had JUST told him NOT to touch it. He could get scalded that way!

    I swear, this goes on constantly with him. Stuff I have told him OVER AND OVER AND OVER and every day it’s the same. So, all I can really offer is my complete and total understanding and empathy. Now, if only I had a couple of tickets to the Bahamas….

  4. 4
    My Precious Peanut Designs says:

    I have left you the Lemonade Award! Please stop by my blog to pick it up!
    http://mypreciouspeanutdesigns.blogspot.com/

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