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This post comes from my heart. In light of everything going on in the world today, I can’t help but think: If I had not been born into a godly home, and if I had been born in today’s times when children are told they can be anything they want to be – even the opposite gender – I may have made some very different choices and missed out on many blessings. This post is not written in anger or to hurt anyone. It’s just something I need to say.
When God Made Me a Girl…
He knew exactly what He was doing. Jeremiah 1:5 says, “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee;” Did you catch that? Before I was even a twinkle in my mother’s eye, God already knew all about me.
Growing up, I was a tomboy. I loved dirt. I loved sports. I could beat up any boy who looked at me cross-eyed. I had no time for nail polish, lipstick, and frilly dresses like the other girls. I wanted to be outside, riding bikes over dirt ramps, crashing into things, and joking around with the boys I called my friends.
As a teenager, most of my friends were guys. Girls were catty and mean, so I avoided them and just hung out with the guys. We played basketball, card games, and always had a good time.
That was my life. There were many times I wished I could have just been born a boy. Boys had it so much easier. (In my mind. They may not have!) Guys could get mad and get over it a few minutes later. Girls could hold grudges for years. In fact, I’m sure there are still a few girls that won’t talk to me because I didn’t wear the right shoes that one day in 9th grade.
I grew up going to a Christian school where girls were required to be in dresses to our knees every.single.day. No pants. Only skirts. (And the occasional pair of culottes.) Oh, how I hated it. You couldn’t ride bikes (well) in a skirt. I always had shorts on underneath my skirts, because I was not going to let a stupid skirt slow me down. I wanted to be able to climb and play like all the boys no matter what I was wearing.
I hated being a girl most days growing up. Absolutely hated it. If I could have changed it, I would have.
So, did God make a mistake? Should I have been a boy? Life would have been easier, sure, but it definitely wouldn’t have been the same.
Growing up, I would often mention to my dad that I wished I was a boy. He knew it, and he knew why. But, instead of encouraging me to be something that I was not created to be, he would tell me this verse over and over: Psalm 139:14 – “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made:” He would remind me all the time that I was made exactly the way God wanted me to be, and that God had a purpose to fulfill in me one day.
Maybe God taught me to fight like a guy and not hold a grudge because He knew it would help in my marriage one day. Gene and I rarely fight anyway, but when we do, the fights don’t last for days. Usually, they only last a few minutes. We speak our mind and the fighting is done. It’s probably why we’re still married today!
Maybe the reason God allowed me to be a girl who liked dirt and sports and being outside was because He knew that one day I would be the mother of 5 boys. I cannot be intimidated by dirt, must love sports, and I have to be able to deal with unidentifiable smells at any given moment.
So, why did I have to suffer all of those years wearing those awful skirts? I’m guessing it’s because God also knew I would be a mother to 3 amazing girls, all of whom love to wear dresses, paint their nails, and are just as girly as girly can be. He knew that one day, I would have to teach each of them to be modest, at whatever cost, and show them the ways a girl behaves.
Years ago, when I was struggling and in so much pain, I had no idea that one day God’s purpose for my life would be fulfilled – or how it would be fulfilled. I certainly didn’t know it would mean being a mom of 8, surrounded by many different situations that both my boys AND my girls are dealing with, and that my life as a young person had set me up to handle it all.
When God Made Me a Girl… I didn’t like it. I didn’t understand it. But I am oh so very thankful He did because of the life I have now.
If you, or your child, is dealing with a similar situation, and they feel like they don’t belong, please don’t try to go above God’s head and change something that isn’t meant to be. Instead, encourage them to embrace the person God created them to be. To try and achieve whatever they want to do, but to do it as the person they are – not the person they wish they could be instead. Life is HARD. I get that. But changing who you are on the outside does NOT change who God created you to be. You are still that person, you are just trying to hide it. I get that. I wished many times I could have hidden the fact that I was a girl and that I really could have been “just one of the guys.”
I want you to know that you are loved. God loves you SO much – as confused as you may be, as hurt as you may be, as unloved as you may feel. Turn to Him. Let Him lead. I promise, His ways are perfect. We just have to be willing to sit back and hold on as the ride goes around.
If you don’t know God, and if you don’t have a personal relationship with Jesus, can I introduce you to Him? He wants to get to know you. ALL of you – just like you are. Contact me today, and we can talk. I think you’d like Him. I already know He loves you. 🙂 May you find the peace that only Jesus can give. Not peace from changing everything about you, but true peace that overwhelms you from the inside out.